Despite that this particular work is based heavily in a fantasy genre I typically enjoy, I could not have squirmed in my seat any more sitting through the flat line cookie cutter experience that was The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
Based on the first book in the bestselling series by Cassandra Clare, the film follows Clary Fray (Lily Collins), who sees the ordinary New York City life she lives with her mother (Lena Headey) turned upside down when she becomes caught between opposing sides of an ancient world of magic, fought by gothic angels, dark demons and various evil creatures.
When Clare starts subconsciously drawing a mysterious symbol, witnesses a murder in a nightclub, and her mother (Lena Heady) disappears following an attack in her apartment, she subsequently falls under the watchful eye of hunky vampire hunter Jace Weyland (Jamie Campbell Bower) and his fellow fighters-for-good called Shadowhunters. Revealed to be a descendant of the ancient warrior bloodline, Clare holds the secret in her subconscious to the whereabouts of a mystical artifact that offers ultimate power.
In the rapidly expanding genre of young adult novels adapted for the big screen, most of the other series have a footing in making their own identity. The Mortal Instruments not only takes a broad stroke cookie cutter approach, but also throws in anything and everything it can to push it along its way.
Sure there is a big quest, demons to battle, and a grand final showdown with the big baddie Valentine (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), but the film makes no excuses, for all intents and purposes, in winging it every step of the way. Somebody need a weapon that would be extremely convenient to use, sure its available. Need a new foe to fight in this scene? Without rhyme, reason or back story some new horrific monster appears that probably popped into the visual FX team's heads at some random moment. At the start of the film we are presented with the ancient order Shadowhunters, great an original concept, but quickly added into the mix are vampires, werewolves, witches, warlocks in addition to other various creatures that can cause trouble. The screenplay runs along as if script doctor was there at every beat on set to provide the quickest and easiest fixes for any situation.
When the reluctant romance element kicks into gear, why not have set a scene in a magic garden in the film's NYC base of operations called The Institute (whose architectural grandeur also happens to be invisible to the eyes of normal humans. Hello Hogwarts?). Clary swoons for Jace, but her geeky life-long friend Simon (Robert Sheehan) of course completes the love triangle and provides for some cringe worthy romantic dialogue and moments. The movie takes heavy leads from the Twilight Saga when it concerns the two leads and both the expected and (almost) unexpected forbidden love bumps. If you don't think this is your thing, it isn't. While the film has its fair share of roll your eyes moments, it doesn't quite attain the laugh out loud high bar set by The Host.
There are also no shortage of direct cues taken from The Lost Boys, Harry Potter, Stargate and honest to God, The Empire Strikes Back. Some of these elements may not be painfully obvious to the mass of the intended younger viewers, but I was pleasantly surprised how well a throwaway Ghostbusters reference went over at my screening. Homage is one thing, but when I say the Shadowhunters keep a Stargate in the Institute (as in the movie and SG-1 Stargate), yes they really gave them a Stargate to utilize in a major plot point.
Lily Collins does her best as a reluctant one-dimensional heroine rammed head first into this supernatural mess. You would think there would be more depth written for a female lead who has an insane amount of upheaval thrush upon her. Campbell Bower plays it cold and occasionally silly at inopportune times. The Edward Cullen mold of hero is not lost here, just adding tattoos and leather for good measure in place of sparkly skin.
Clocking in at over two hours the pace surprisingly keeps moving along, but it tries to cram so much into every scene, from monsters, big effects, fight sequences, goth costumes, party scenes and romantic interludes, all it provides is even less reason to stop for a moment to explain exactly why the hell any of it is logistically happening. It manages to hit many of the familiar necessary beats you would expect from a first chapter setting up an inevitable franchise, but at the same time barely lays down a proper base coat to build upon you care about.
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is soulless forgettable film fodder fit to fill in the void left in the wake of The Twilight Saga. Sadly it is hardly interested in pushing boundaries or making its own memorable mythology in the genre. Every beat of the story seems like off the cuff convenience rather than adhering to any of the thin plot parameters it has put so little thought into establishing. It is unfortunately content with begging, borrowing and re-hashing numerous familiar paths taken by other like films rather than making a leap into memorable new territory.
REVIEW RATING: ★☆☆☆☆
Director: Harald Zwart
Starring: Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Kevin Zegars, Robert Sheehan, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Screenwriter: Jessica Postigo Paquette
Studio: Screen Gems
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 130 minutes
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